You've found a club for your child and you're ready to go, but he isn't. How can you help your child overcome his reluctance to join?
- Get to the root of his reluctance
- Address his concerns
- Step back, re-evaluate, decide
Get to the Root of His Reluctance
Talk to your child and find out what's on his mind. It could be something simple like he doesn't want to miss his favorite TV show. Most likely he has concerns with which you can help. Just remember: something we, as adults, see as relatively insignificant can seem insurmountable to a child, so take all of his concerns seriously.
Address His Concerns
Now that you know why he's reluctant to join a club, you can address his concerns directly.
- Does your child feel left out of the decision being made for him? If your child is old enough, he may be more willing to participate if he's involved in the decision about which club to join and when.
- Is he afraid he won't have the necessary skills? Assure him you, or someone skilled, will help him learn them.
- Is he afraid to separate from mom or dad? Perhaps you can sit through the first couple of meetings with him or even volunteer with the club on a regular basis. Some clubs, such as the Cub Scouts, encourage family pariticipation.
- Is he uncomfortable joining a group of strangers? Introduce him to some of the other children ahead of time.
- Does he think others will see him as "uncool"? Help him understand that being himself is the most cool thing he can do.
The list is as individual as the child. As a parent, if you address his concerns directly and take them seriously, you'll make a big impressions on your child.
Step Back, Re-Evaluate, Decide
If your child is still reluctant to participate, the choice may need another look. Does the club fit your child's personality? Is the timing right? Are you doing this for yourself or your child? Do you feel that your child will adjust to the club if he joins?
You might decide now isn't the time or this isn't the club for your child, and that's OK. There will be plenty of opportunities and plenty of clubs as he grows. You might decide, despite your child's reluctance, to enroll him in the club, and that's OK, too. As a parent who has carefully evaluated the situation, you will know if it's right for your child. Either way, assure him you've heard him and his concerns are important to you, but you believe he'll enjoy himself and learn some valuable lessons along the way.